Harry Potter and the Winning Entry

The IPKat has been so busy sorting through entries to his Harry Potter competition that he has only just got round to posting the winning one. To remind readers: author JK Rowling seeks your advice as to the title of the next Harry Potter book (the one she said she'd never write) on how Harry and his friends graduate from Hogwarts and secure gainful employment within in the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO). The title must begin with the words "Harry Potter and the ...", but the rest is up to entrants.

This time round the IPKat received entries from eleven countries, a bit of a record, and probably a reflection on the global renown of both Harry Potter and WIPO.  Because this competition was a bit easier than some, the volume of entries was huge.  Among the better entries were these:

Close to (WIPO's) home

* Harry Potter and the Forum of Genf (Michael Waters, Environmental Agency)
* Harry Potter and the Machinations of the WIPO (Verghese Mathews)
* Harry Potter and the Temple of Doom (Andrew Clemson, Cleveland) [There were several close variants of this one, but Andy got there first]
* Harry Potter and the Transmogrifying Resumé (Rodrigo Calvo de No, Cabinet Beau de Loménie, who gently reminds readers of one Idris, Kamil ...

Intellectual property allusions

* Harry Potter and the Provisional Refusal (Chris McLeod, Hammonds)
* Harry Potter and the Madrid Express (Chris McLeod, Hammonds)
* Harry Potter and the Patent Pool Potions (Greg Little, Deloitte)
* Harry Potter and the Chamber of Prior Art (Chris Torrero, LGC Limited)
* Harry Potter and the Prior (Dark) Art (David Sant, BBC Future Media & Technology)
* Harry Potter and the Central Attack (Armin Karimi, University of Groningen, Netherlands) [nb this was far and away the most popular entry, since so many people independently submitted it -- but Armin was the first.  Second most popular was Harry Potter and the Doctrine of Equivalents ...]
* Harry Potter and the Appellations of Lisbon (Antony Gallafent). Antony adds that this is the volume "... in which he who must not be named makes Feta in Whitby and proceeds to incorporate it into a Melton Mobray pie alongside some local Welsh lamb".

A bit of magic

• Harry Potter and the Aggressively Enforced Intellectual Property - Harry roams the world, using the Five Unforgivable Curses (Crucio, Imperio, Avada Kedavra, Preliminary Injunctio and Statutory Damagio) on trademark and copyright infringers (Mike Brown, BPM Legal)

Morality tales

* Harry Potter and the Fungus of Creation (Inga Raudsepp, European Commission, Intellectual Property and Technology Transfer). Inga adds: "It's about how magical a fungus has been created by evil wizards who hate current IP system. The fungus infects many peopel and drives them to create too much. As a result muggles' trade marks and patent registration offices all over Europe are seriously flooded with silly applications. Harry and Ron have to fight the evil and restore the balance of the IP system. Moreover, they discover that IP protection itself does not guarantee innovation. The right balance does".
* Harry Potter and the Pirate Bay Copyright-Eaters (Jeanine Rizzo, Fenech & Fenech Advocates)

A quiet day at the office ...

By sheer coincidence the IPKat received two very amusing emails on the same day from members of the same firm (Browne Jacobson LLP).  The first, from Giles Parsons, reads as follows:

"Dear IPKat 

I met JK Rowling in a pub and apparently she is planning a trilogy - synopsis below. Personally, I think her books have become too long, too obscure and too derivative, and that she would benefit from an efficient subeditor.

* Harry Potter and the Anti-Counterfeiting Mortality Asterisk

Harry Potter is down on his luck - having lost a law suit, he is injuncted from taking baths, and thus has become a pariah. He moves back in with his uncle and aunt (now living in a desert ranch) where he meets an old man who explains that a secret asterisk in ACTA has robbed WIPO of its powers and allowed ACTA to develop a death ray that obliterates planets containing counterfeits. Harry joins WIPO, and after a tense broomstick journey he transfigures the Mortality Asterisk in to a giant green slug, and wins the Quidditch Cup.

* Harry Potter and the Traditional Cultural Expressions and Folklore of Doom

Fresh from his previous triumph, Harry Potter negotiates a treaty protecting expressions of folklore, but is promptly sued by Lord Voldemort's army of dementor-lawyers for infringement of the intellectual property rights in elves, wands and hippogriffs. Deprived of his magical powers, Harry is expelled from WIPO, encased in stone and is sold by Voldemort to the giant slug as a lawn ornament.

* Harry Potter and the Return of the Statutory Defence 

Harry Potter is rescued by Hermione's wiggling eyebrows, but now faces his greatest threat - Lord Voldemort, whilst developing a new Mortality Asterisk, realised that there is no parody exception to copyright infringement in English law and is pursuing an injunction against Harry's continued existence. Harry and Hermione go on the run and secretly respond to the Independent Review of IP and Growth. Hermione's eloquent arguments persuade the government to implement the statutory exception for the purposes of caricature, parody or pastiche as recommended by the Gowers Review. Newly empowered, Harry and Hermione are finally able to throw items of jewellery into a volcano without risk of infringement proceedings, and thus ultimately defeat the Dark Lord. Harry returns to WIPO a hero, is appointed Director General, and meets the Vice President of Peru.

Best regards

Giles"

Meanwhile, somewhere down the corridor, Giles's colleague Mark Daniels was furiously composing the following epistle:

"Dear IPKat

Given the recent spark of interest in WIPO's logo and abuse thereof, how about HP and friends land roles within WIPO's enforcement department charged with clamping down on nefarious activities surrounding the mysterious badge of the organisation. (Subplots - they join the WIPO Quidditch team which dominates the World IP Cup - narrowly beating the EPO in the last match of the season), introduce draconian criminal sanctions for copyright infringement - much to Bloomsbury's delight, and lead a remarkable and successful battle against costume designers who malevolently design a copycat "sorting hat" for merchandising purposes - thus sorting out Lucasfilm problems to boot). Working title could be: 

* Harry Potter and the Emblem of the Sphinx

Lots of reasons why Sphinx - inc. having the body of two animals (Berne and Paris Conventions….) and the head of a human. Famed for eloquence and for posing riddles. Obviously the Egyptian type (benevolent) rather than the Greek version (malevolent).

I'll not give up the day job.

Best regards 

Mark"

So who wins?  On balance the Kat feels that Giles Parsons' Harry Potter and the Anti-Counterfeiting Mortality Asterisk is the best.  Well done, Giles, remember to contact the IPKat to claim your prize -- complimentary registration and a free lunch at the 2011 Intellectual Property Round-up Conference on 24 January (conference details here).