What shall we call that currency?

The Kat's interest in money is just
a by-product of his passion for
intellectual property law ...

Back in October, in "The Euro: time for a rebrand?" the IPKat expressed the opinion of many when he said that the Eurozone's currency, the euro, had a bad name. In his view, the first step in the rehabilitation of Europe's currency would be to give it a fresh name and a new image, to divorce it from the euro's mythological mire and to distance it from its present discomfort.

This Kat therefore offered as a prize a beautiful new copy of the Butterworths Intellectual Property Law Handbook, 10th edition, of which he is Consultant Editor, to whoever came up with the best suggestion for a new name for the European currency together with an explanation -- in not more than 30 words -- of why it was appropriate. The only stipulations were that the suggested name must not be (i) a famous trade mark (eg "The Google" or the "Coca-Cola"), (ii) a rude word or term of abuse in any of the official languages of the countries of the Eurozone or (iii) the name of a politician (eg "The Sarkozy" or "The Berlusconi")

Some suggestions demonstrated a certain lack of enthusiasm for the European single currency:

• The Argh (Stein Roar Gjøen, Acapo, Norway): "Suitably ludicrous, easily understood and linguistically independent, indicative of pain and need for relief"
• The Folly (Roy Crozier, Clarke Willmott LLP)
• The Pigswill (Ivan Cotter)
• The Burerock: (Tony McStea): "derived from Europe, bureaucracy (of which we have seen so much to so little effect) and the rock that awaits if said bureaucracy continues to avoid the necessary hard place"
• The Dodo (Robert Cumming, Walker Morris)
• The Ohno (also from Robert Cumming)
• The Bull (Philip Grubb): "it conveys an impression of strength; Europa went for a ride on the bull, and was screwed; a great deal of bull has already been talked about the Euro"

Others were more encouraging:

• The Rocket (A. B. Ramalho): "It has an optimistic flair to it and it stands for 'to ROCK European Trade'. It makes us believe that the sky, not the ground, is the limit"
• The Rock (Anthony Gallafent, Gallafents): "same length as “euro”; gives impression of strength; underlies all of Europe; sub-divisional coins could be called boulder, cobble, stone, pebble, grain, dust; each country could have different ROCKS"
• The Powa (Christine Walmsley-Scott, Marks & Clerk (Luxembourg) LLP): "POWA - Prosperity, Opportunity and Wealth by Agreement --it is easy to say and uses easy English words for the whole EU to understand"

There were some whimsical suggestions too:

• The Markel (Robert Börner, Murgitroyd & Company): "a mixture of the German "Mark" (apparently being the strongest of the Euro currencies"and our beloved Angie "Merkel"... " [Merpel rather likes this one]
• The Vademecum (Robert Cumming's third suggestion): "this has an accurate literal/conceptual meaning in Latin (go with me), Latin is a neutral root of many European languages and the first element, vade sends a positive strong and commanding message ‘go!’ - something the Euro lacks at the moment"
• The Vitis (Katarzyna Wasniowska, Poland): "I thought about the joy, and richness, this word should bring, and about the European heritage as well. I thought about what I would turn to in a time of crisis, and - leaving behined the idea of putting an equation mark between love and money, I came up with the word VITIS - a grape"
• The Credit (Nathan Jordan, Spoor & Fisher Jersey): "It is a staple of science fiction flicks and comics that in the “not too distant” future everyone is using credits and that the currency has become ubiquitous. If it’s good enough for Luke Skywalker it’s good enough for me"

From the fertile pen and febrile imagination of Sophie Miller (ABPI) came a number of acronyms, including:

• The Claws (Currency of the Legal Association of Working States)
• The Meou (Memberstate European Operating Unit)
• The Mouse (Members Operating Unit for the States of Europe)

Here are some of the best entries:

• The Neuro (David Kuper): "It's short for 'Not the Euro' (or alternatively the 'New Euro') - and it'd make people think ..."
• The BizMark (Michael I. Katz, Thomas Whitelaw LLP, Irvine California): "It's honest"
• The Ecu (George R. F. Souter, Helsinki): "for “European currency unit”, which the Euro replaced. Ecu is also the name of an ancient French coin”
• The Tenax (Mary Smillie, Bird & Bird): "The Latin for frugal, grasping, obstinate and stingy. This meaning is in common with a former successful (pre-Euro) currency, the Greek Drachma, which means 'grasp'"

Since the IPKat and Merpel can't make up their minds as to which is the winner, they've decided to hold a poll and invite readers to give their verdict. Voting closes midnight next Sunday, Greenwich Mean Time, and you will find the poll at the top of the sidebar on the IPKat's front page.