8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce
Making the decision to go for a divorce isn’t an easy task. It impacts all parties involved negatively. However, alternatives aren’t always available. Once a couple have determined that their marriage has to end, it is crucial to make the entire process as painless as possible. In some cases, however, the divorce process makes couples stay at odds with each other.
As resentment and anger build, it becomes easy for emotions to override reason and logic. People involved in an antagonistic divorce usually attempt to make life as difficult as possible for their spouse, and they eventually hurt themselves. Luckily, all of this can be avoided. Here are easy-to-follow ways to simplify your divorce.
1. Use Divorce Mediation
Besides being a very stressful endeavor, engaging in a divorce can be very expensive. Many times, people are forced to use their savings to cover legal bills. Undergoing a separation is difficult enough without having to add financial crisis into the mix. However, collaborative divorces usually involve fewer legal battles, and they are less expensive as a result. A collaborative divorce, on average, will cost about a third of what conventional divorces will, according to one survey.
If at all possible, try to work out a divorce plan with your spouse. If flat rate divorce mediation services are at all a possibility, use them. Countless hours and dollars can be tied up in legal wrangling over the smallest details. Even with children – or a business – agreements can be reached, saving quite a bit of money. And that’s money to start your new life with!
2. Devote the Required Time to the Process
Going through a divorce process is like working at two jobs. You may even spend enormous amounts of energy meeting with professionals, gathering documents, separating your stuff and figuring out your finances. You will have to work to ensure your children are okay and that their transition into a different life goes smoothly.
If you are aware of this from the start, and you discover a way to devote time and energy to the divorce (the amount it requires), everything will go more smoothly. The opposite happens if you are angry about everything relating to your divorce and you always drag your heels instead of doing what is required to move on from the divorce.
Have your lawyer approve your letter explaining your rationale for divorce before taking any action. When you are the one who files for divorce, there is usually much guilt associated with such a decision. Most people want to discuss or explain the reason for their decision to their spouse, and they often put their feelings in a letter. That is a decent thing to do if it originates from the appropriate place. The issue here, however, is that writing these kinds of letters tends to make you take more responsibility for the breakup in a bid to soften the blow.
3. Reduce the Time Required
Going through the divorce process can take many years. Time is required to settle all disagreements and have the case closed. This, in turn, makes it more difficult for parties to move on with their lives. A collaborative approach should be adopted, as this type of divorce focuses on solving disputes outside the courtroom if possible.
Rather than seeing each other as enemies, the involved parties in a collaborative divorce work to complete the process peacefully. These kinds of divorces usually take a few months to finalize.
4. Open a New Bank Account in Your Name
This part is for couples who use a joint account. Such individuals should know that one of them can clear out the entire account based on banking laws. The person who took the money may have to pay their spouse his or her share eventually, but it could take a long time to get to that point in cases where the judge orders repayment.
That is why everyone is advised to own a separate bank account in his or her own name, even if it has to be a secret. Chances are that if the account is kept secret, you may even need it more than you realize.
5. Reduce Stress
Due to the fact that bitter emotions are often associated with divorce processes, many people walk away and/or never speak to their former spouse again. This can turn the situation into something emotionally painful, especially if there are children involved. However, working to end your divorce peacefully may make it possible to avoid this issue and reduce the kind of emotional trauma your children will experience.
6. It’s an Excellent Idea to Seek a Second Opinion
If there are concerns about the kind of advice you are receiving, don’t be afraid to ask for another individual’s opinion. A good attorney will be happy to see you seeking an alternative opinion and will accept good suggestions your respected friend or colleague might have.
You have just one chance to handle a divorce well, and you have a right to have confidence in any advice you are receiving. If the second opinion suggests that your case is being handled well, the reassurance will definitely be worth the consultation for the second opinion
7. Take Note of the Timing of Your Offer
Cases will not be settled until both parties are willing to leave the marriage. Thus, the timing of your divorce offer may be as vital as the content. Don’t make the offer too early, especially if the other party is not ready to receive it. Failure to do so will mean you will be betting against yourself.
8. The Bottom Line
No matter how frustrated you get, when going through a divorce, you can benefit from taking few minutes to set your emotions aside and see whether a collaborative divorce will decrease the stress of your separation. Working together may mean making compromises (something both individuals may not be pleased with), but in the majority of these cases, this option is less harmful to both parties than approaching the divorce as if it were a war.
Featured photo credit: DW Law Firm via davidkontos.com
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