Every Family Has Its Problems, This Is How Some Stick Together No Matter What

Families are meant to be there with you through thick and thin. They are supposed to pick you up when you fall down, nudge you to the right direction when you are lost and misguided and correct you when you are mistaken and short-sighted but what happens when you are in a war with the ones you called family? Do you go your separate ways or do you make it work?

Before we make any hasty decisions and come to the conclusion, let’s analyze what a family conflict is.^[1]

Family conflict is a struggle or discord among the members of a family, whether it is between the parents or parent and child or between siblings. It is caused due to many reasons. It might be caused by financial problems; when we can’t pay bills. The other reasons might be a rivalry between the siblings, due to different sets of beliefs and viewpoints and poor communication in the family.

Whatever the causes and reasons, family conflicts take away a sense of security and belongings from a person and if not resolved, it will result in breaking of the family or even criminal activities at worst.

Let’s go in depth about the different types of family conflicts.^[2]

1. Parental Conflict

It occurs when a husband and his wife are in constant disagreement with each other. This creates a hostile environment, which will ultimately harm socializing aspects of the child as a child coming from a high conflict background can’t socialize with his/her counterparts and is more prone to have a conflict with others. This usually results in the divorce of husband and wife.

2. Parent-child Conflict

It occurs when the parents don’t agree with the viewpoint of children or vice-versa. It is primarily caused due to generation gaps and controlling behavior of certain family members. It leads to the separation of a child from family.

3. Sibling Conflict

It occurs among the children of a family and may result in breaking of the family.

So, what shall we do when there is conflict between the family members? Shall we quit, give up on each other and stop being families? Or we work towards resolving whatever the issue that is causing the conflict?

If you want to resolve a family conflict, then you should know about family counseling.

Family counseling falls under the Family Act, it helps families with relationship problems and manages the issues concerning the family and children during marriage, divorce, and separation. It may also be about the grave feelings, living arrangements, financial issues, and issues regarding children.

Family counselors are trained individuals, who help people solve emotional issues with their family and reach agreement in the case of disagreements.^[3] He/she will listen to our problems and help us find effective solutions.

People should go to family counseling whenever there is a source of discontent and disharmony in family or whenever the family is faced with important issues as a unit. It can be after or before or during a marriage, separation, divorce, remarriage or death of a family member. The other scenario might be a case if any of the family members is suffering from physical or mental health problems.

Some of the signs to look for in case you need family counseling are listed below.

Communication breakdown in a family
Withdrawal of family members from family events
Extreme reactions to little problems
Violence upon oneself or family members
Change of behavior
Substance abuse problems in family

These are telltale signs, if you find above signs, then it’s time to take family counseling.^[4]

Even after a separation or divorce, family counseling is still necessary.

Whenever we separate with our partners with some irreconcilable differences, we shouldn’t forget that the separation doesn’t only affect us, they affect the children as well. Therefore, if we seek family counseling, it will help address the needs of children and provide children with the stability they need to flourish in life.

The divorce rate in USA is about 40 to 50 percent among the married couple, which is even more in their subsequent marriage. Homeless and runaway youth primarily identify family conflict as the main reason behind their decision to walk away from their family.^[5] Most of these could be avoided if we were willing to see the family counsellors and work to mend our relationships.

For instance, take a case of Jacqueline Mary Ray and Tom Selleck.^[6] They were the power couple of Hollywood, however, they split because Tom was obsessed with the role in the series Magnum P.I. This could have been avoided if the couple would have given family counseling a try. In many other notable cases, celebrity couple like Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West went to family counseling, which resolved their family conflict and helped them remain as a family even amidst the conflict.

Remember when we have a conflict in the family next time that blood is thicker than the water and any conflict can be resolved with the help of family counseling.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via static.pexels.com

Reference

[1]	^	Better Health: Family conflict
[2]	^	Livestrong: Family Conflict Examples
[3]	^	All Psychology Schools: Marriage & Family Therapy Job Description: What You’ll Do
[4]	^	The Spruce: When Do I Need a Family Counselor?
[5]	^	youth.gov: Family Conflict and Violence
[6]	^	Celeb Spouse: Jacqueline Ray Tom Selleck Ex Wife, Bio and Facts